


These Are Only Walls That Hold Me Here

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alien scribbles, Black Box, Devotion, Friendship, Gen, I love this ship how can you not, Pheels, Skye lives in Phil's office, Trust, Unresolved Romantic Tension, fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 02x05  ficlet with Skye and Coulson when he shows her the drawings in his office.  I wanted to write something that felt like it could slip into cannon and the progression of their relationship.</p><p>Title by Civil Twilight, this is like the Skoulson-iest song, ever. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/civiltwilight/lettersfromthesky.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Are Only Walls That Hold Me Here

"We should probably get started."

 _What will she see?_   he asks himself.

Madness? Like he does?

Crossing the room to his desk, feeling her coming behind, he looks down.

It wasn't really a hesitation, just his thoughts interrupting.

He hates looking at them. Hates the feeling of this ritual that has possessed him. Staring at it afterwards.

He still remembers the first time.  It always feels like the first time.  That's sort of the definition of insanity.

The compulsion subsides but then it's staring back at him, reminding him of how very much he is not in control.

What a fool he'd been. Thinking that just by knowing about TAHITI he had somehow got a piece of himself back. Thinking that because of her, things were going to be different now.

Then he'd found out he was the one in charge of Project: TAHITI.

Pushing the button on the touchpad, the screen begins to roll upward.

Ward had described to him, in vivid detail, Garrett's decline. Of course he had. It was an opportunity. To turn the tables, to try and shatter him. Leaving him dreading how it would end. Leaving her with all of this. Incomplete.

And Skye had talked to Ward.

Once, he had felt like a new man.

Now, he felt broken. And he had opened up everything, it was all exposed.

This whole day had been her finding out almost everything he'd been keeping from her, and now, he was burdening her with this.

All those moments they had shared last year, her perspective changing his world, expanding him.

He's afraid to look at her, but his eyes won't obey him. He glances up and watches, just for a moment.

There's no horror there, no revulsion.

_What does she see?_

Does she remember him as the man that he was, before he saw Garrett's writings?

That strikes him as, impossible, and yet, a very Skye thing to do.

He feels relieved. Even if it _is_   his brokenness laid out in front of her.

"So this is what you've been doing up here?"

She draws closer to it, looking over the expanse of his handiwork.

_What will she see now?_

"Well, it's what I did yesterday," he answers, trying to lighten the mood. Her day, after all.

Turning back towards him, he can see the disbelief there on her face. She doesn't want to believe it.

"I don't know how else to explain it, but, it needs to be carved," he replies, stretching out his arms.

"Does...does this just appear in your mind? Like some sort of vision...?" she says, turning back to him again.

There is some confusion there, the concern he remembers written across her face in other moments. After she'd found him begging to die. He wants to comfort her, like he did earlier. Doesn't want this to be too much.

Without thinking about it, he draws himself to stand near to her.

"No. Just...kinda happens," he says softly. "Which, is really frustrating, because, no matter how much I carve...it still means nothing to me."

Just being closer to her gives some relief.

Then she moves away again, closer in.

"I don't even have a theory," he adds.

Her fingers reach out to touch the wall. The way she's carefully, delicately, tracing the drawings.

"I do," she answers, with some emotion caught in her words.

Skye has only looked at this for a moment. His brow furrows. _How?_

"It's a map," she says with determination, turning back to him.

A few steps closer and he standing next to her again.

"How...?" he whispers, fighting back emotion. "Are you sure?"

"I think so," Skye said. "Of course, I can't prove it yet, but..."

Her fingers touch the symbols again, she draws one around a large circle.

"A star chart," she goes on. "You said it yourself, that maybe, I'm...," she corrects, "Maybe _we_..."

She glances up at him for a moment, stops talking. Stops the movement of her hand.

"Coulson?"

The look on her face, he's seen it before. Which means, the look on his face...

He tries to check himself, but she puts her hand on his arm.

"Hey," she says, with a smile. "You're having one hell of a day, huh?"

Nodding, he looks down at her, only startled for a second when she takes her thumb and touches it to the side of his face, wiping away at wetness.

"I thought," he starts, looks away from her. "That I was going crazy."

Grinding his jaw, he blinks a few times before looking back at her, Skye, looking like she might cry, too.

Her eyes are searching his face.

He had wanted to show her everything, as an act of trust between them, not sure what that would cost him.

And here she was, restoring him.

Again.

 

  
***

 

He's in his office, sitting behind the desk, looking over the file in front of him.

It's been in his thoughts. The black box.

Sharing it. With her.

His eyes glance up and she's at the other desk on the far side of the office, on her laptop, working away.

Probably, on the map.

That's usually what she does when there's not a mission in front of them.

It's not that he doesn't trust her.

He trusts her more than anyone. Not just as his friend, either. It's her resolve. It's the way she sees the world.

The black box might overwhelm her. It might be so distracting that she gets lost in it, the way he's been tempted to so many times.

 _It is a temptation_ , he thinks. To feel like if you know more, you'll be better at making it right. (And Skye does love information.)

Instead, you miss all the things that are right in front of you.

Skye loudly clears her throat and he realizes she's looking back at him.

He must have been staring. Again.

Which, is probably why she's sitting on the other side of the room. It wasn't his request, she simply started doing it and now he's worried he's making her uncomfortable.

"Sir," she says, dryly.

"Thank you," he answers, loudly. He had to come up with something quickly, but, he's been thinking about this, too.

Skye sighs and closes her laptop, gets up from the desk and slowly walks over to where he is while he waits, crossing his hands in front of himself on the desk.

"For what?" she asks, leaning forward on his desk with her hands.

He's probably not doing a great job of hiding the smile. After all, she stopped everything she was doing just to have this moment.

It's not like he never thanks anyone, either.

"For not giving up," he says. " _On me_."

She looks surprised a moment, at where he's gone with this, but quickly recovers.

"You really tried," she smirked. "To get me to give it a shot, though."

"Okay," he said, more lightly. "I deserved that."

"Just so you know," she said, sitting on the edge of his desk. "The thought never entered my mind."

He wasn't sure what to say to that, or to describe what he was feeling.

All he managed was to stare back down at the desk and smile wistfully.

" _I_ am starving," she announces, standing up. "Heading downstairs to grab something," she added, thumbing back towards the door.

"You want to come with?"

She was looking for something more from him. He knew it. She'd made similar requests before and he had politely declined. They already spent so much time alone together when they worked.

"I'd like that," he answered back, standing up and smoothing his suit front.

"Me, too, sir," she said with a genuine smile, making her way towards the door.

"One more thing, Skye," he said, buttoning the front of his suit jacket.

Stopping, she turned back as he came up alongside her.

"Drop the sir," he said, as they stood shoulder to shoulder.

"It's just Phil." 

"Okay, _Phil ."_ She raised an eyebrow as she tried it out.

He smiled and extended his hand as she went first through the door.


End file.
